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restless rustle

I feel like a bird that’s rustling its feathers. Shaky and fluffy and restless. Being home for the last month has been wearing me down mentally. Sadly, as long as the physical is muted, the psychological will take over.

I do not like this.

*rustle*

I feel like there’s big change out there, just waiting to happen. I’m on the cusp. I can’t make it happen sooner than it will happen though and that makes me anxious.

I don’t even know what the change is. I just know something’s looming.

LoooooOOOooooming.

I want to be able to work at a job I love so much that it doesn’t even feel like a job.

Doesn’t everyone? Yeah. Not every person is that lucky.

I am scared to take chances. Although the first steps generally have no chance attached to them. You can’t have chance or change without those first steps. How come those always feel like the biggest steps though?

Change is looming.

I am dreaming.

early weekend mornings rather bite

This is not a photo of my hair now, this is from the end of October, but I like the photo. It was my Facebook profile for a while. Anyhow, I felt like posting it. I haven’t had enough photos on my blog lately. All text and no pretty pictures makes things boring. Of course you might not find this picture pretty, but then again, I don’t really care. ;)

So this morning our alarm clock went off at 8:00 AM. It goes off at that time 5 days a week, so it’s sort of a bummer when it has to do the same thing on the weekends. However, last night my father-in-law phoned to let us know he’d like to put our winter tires on the car today and he likes to get annoyingly early starts on things. Bah. But then again, winter tires! Yay! (Yay, as in, we won’t get a ticket after December 15th for not having them, since it’s now the LAW in Quebec that you have to have winter tires on in winter). So out the door we all were at 8:20 this morning, Shawn, me and the dogs. When we got there, my father-in-law was still in his pyjamas and then sent Shawn out to get breakfast, so the tire thing? Yeah, it didn’t happen until after 10AM. Which is when we wanted to go over in the first place, but that was TOO LATE IN THE DAY!.

Bah.

I say “bah” with a smile though, I happen to not mind going over there and doing things. Though I could have been happier getting to sleep in this morning, especially since I had been awake since about 3AM with stupid stomach pains which would spike every time I started to fall asleep. Grr. I finally fell asleep around 7:10, knowing full well Shawn’s alarm would be going off in 50 minutes. Didn’t matter, I woke up at 7:50 and then just stayed up.

In that 30 minutes I managed to have a dream about David Yummypants. Nothing x-rated, so don’t start smirking. :P But he was hitting on me, only I didn’t know it. We had just finished working together on something (what? I have no idea) and he was getting ready to leave and we were in some parking lot walking towards a tent with some sale in it (flea market thing?) and he was asking me if he could see me again and maybe we could do something together and he was hugging me, and I was like, sure if you want. But I was all interested in what books they had on the table for sale (ha!) and then I was like, “I’m going to this UFC thing with my husband and his friend, but I am bringing a book because I know I’ll be bored. Maybe we could get coffee or something while the fight is happening.” (UFC = Ultimate Fighting Championship in my head, by the way). And Yummypants, who put his arm around me was all, “so you’re going with your husband?” And I am all clueless and say “Yes, I love him, so I am going to some boring ol’ fighting match with him so he can watch half-naked, sweaty men roll around on the floor together.” But in the back of my dream-mind I know that this guy is actually asking me to see him withOUT my husband and probably for some affair-type things and all I am thinking about are the books on the table and how lucky that I am that Yummypants wants to be my friend.

Sigh. I am as clueless about boys in my dreams as I am in real life (never knew Shawn was in love with me until it was almost way too late and yet everyone around me seemed to have clued in from the moment they first saw us talking together. Oops.)

And dude. David Yummypants wants to canoodle with me and I’m going on about books for sale and how much I love my husband? GAH! What the hell was I thinking??

Oh, Yummypants. You’re so yummy.

So, anyways, we now have 4 lovely winter tires and a new brake light since one was out. Also got free breakfast and lunch. Heh.

Now it’s 5:30 pm and I have been wondering why I was so tired, I guess it’s the being up since 3:00 AM. Oops. I couldn’t go nap when I got home because a) Shawn was napping and I can’t nap when someone else is there. I just can’t. and b) I had to pee every 30 minutes from the coffee I drank this morning so I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep and that would just make me toss and turn and even more cranky than I would be if I didn’t nap.

I was contemplating going to see Bolt tonight, since I figure the 9PM movie wouldn’t have many people in it since they are all likely at that crappy Twilight movie and I can watch my little CGI dog without a billion children in the theatre. Plus we still have to see James Bond. But I want to see Bolt first. Heh. But I don’t know. Who knows when Shawn will get up. I guess I’ll wake him up some time after six. I don’t know. Whatever.

I should feed the dogs now.