Apparently other people can read what I write on this here personal journal I keep. Who knew that? Why didn’t anyone tell me?
In my 6+ years of official blogging I just had the creepiest thing happen to me this week. For those of you who have been paying attention, I posted last Sunday about how much I regret having the lasik procedure done. I wrote about how badly my eyes have been healing and how I still cannot see clearly.
I left work on Monday at 5PM and as I was walking to the bus terminus with my friend my phone rang. I didn’t recognize the number but I still answered (and I never do when I don’t recognize the number normally). The conversation went something like this:
Caller: Hello, may I speak with Catherine, please?
Me: That’s me! (thinking: I don’t want to do a stupid survey, so I am about to hang up on you)
Caller: I’m calling from lasik.
Me: Ok. (thinking they were phoning to reschedule my appointment in September but suddenly wary)
Caller: Well, this is going to seem like an odd question but… we found this blog post on the weekend…
Me: (holy effing crapsticks! what the hell?)
Caller: and it was sent to me as it was maybe from one of our clients in this office and we’re trying to track down the person who wrote it because they seem really discouraged…
Me: Um.. well.. I guess that was me. But I DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING WRONG ABOUT YOU!
(as a lapsed Catholic I have of course still held on to the GUILT and even though I didn’t have any reason to BE guilty it sort of just took over on auto-pilot)
Caller: oh, I know, but we don’t want our clients to feel sad and discouraged and we don’t want you to feel frustrated and sad or regret the procedure!
Me: (AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! WHAT DID I DO??)
Meanwhile I had literally stopped in the middle of St. Catherine street (corner University – so you know, not really the BEST place to stop in the middle of the road during rush hour) and my friend had to pull me out of the street. I was shocked, stunned, embarrassed and just… shocked.
I was asked to come in this week since the surgeon who had done my procedure was in this week and they wanted to look at my eyes and see if they can’t solve my problem. There was no reason to suffer until my appointment in September. Since I had Friday off this week I said I could come in then, but I had reservations – would my face be plastered up in the office with a MOST WANTED written under it? I didn’t want to walk into the office and have everyone stare at me and go “Oh, so SHE’S the ONE!”.
I was assured I would not be targeted with bull’s eyes or singled out, they would just really like to help me not suffer. After all I paid THEM to fix my eyes and it’s supposed to be a wonderful thing to have lasik and be able to see!
So I went in today. I was nervous and I have to say I still feel a little weirded out by the fact that this company must Google Alert anything that is written about them and I stand by my statement that I wasn’t saying anything about them, just that I was frustrated by my lack of healing and not being able to see. It’s not their fault I have super uber dry eyes. And every time I have been there the staff have been beyond helpful and friendly. (My only teeny complaint would be the waiting times for a few of my appointments, not all, but some have been very long. But there are free cookies, so you know, score!)
I now have silicone plugs in the upper tear ducts – which they provided for free (thankfully because there was no way I could afford them at this time and to be honest, I have already dropped more than enough cash on my stupid eyes) – and I have prescriptions for a new allergy eye drop that should hopefully work better than the last one (that DRIED MY EYES as soon as I put it in), a steroid drop (aptly called “FML” I kid you not. That made me laugh, but the Dr didn’t seem to get it. ), and a prescription that I hope my insurance will cover for a new daily drop that will replace my Systane ULTRA because apparently I have been using that so much that it’s increasingly toxic to my eyes. Good to know. Mental note: toss out rest of that stock. Yikes!
I will now be going back for my “6 month” check up on September 8 and not 11 so that I can be there at the same time as my surgeon who would like to follow up with me and make sure this visit provided help. As she does not work on Saturdays I need to go on a weekday, which sort of sucks but at this point I’d rather be there when my original Dr is there for any problems, etc.
Meanwhile whereas my eyes were .25 away from the prescription they should be, I have now regressed to .50 in each eye. That rather sucks, but the dryness is ALSO much worse (allergy season, yo) and it could be effecting it. They can’t tell if my eyes have regressed completely or if it’s the dryness only. So I have to clear up the dry eyes before we can figure it out.
I do know I do not want a “touch up” if my eyes have regressed. The trouble I have been having with the dry eyes so far is more than enough for me in my lifetime. I can’t imagine having the procedure again will not have the same results and I just want to be able to see like I did before – with the glasses on.
We’ll see how that goes when I get to that stage though. At this point I feel like I will never get over the dry eyes hump. I seriously hope that all these new drops will help!
Thank you personal journal, that no one else can see, for being here to listen to me.
EDIT: Forgot to mention the Dr had trouble putting the temporary plug in my right eye lid so she tried a permanent one which went in no problem – however my right eye is now constantly dripping tears down my face. I swear I am not Emo! But I think I might audition for a crappy soap opera now since I seem to have perfected that “one single tear” look.